Loss unspeakable shatters the morning. Hollow and heavy, I look up and realize the air is still.
Walking the loop, the sun on my back, I glanced to the left and found paradise.
His eyes are like oceans, playful and joyous and deep. His daddy smiles at me through the blue.
At the end of Jacob’s first week, I hobbled into my midwife’s office, bleeding and crying and snotting all over the place. She asked me how we were doing. “I’m bruised,” I said. “I’m bleeding. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Tell me I don’t have to do this, I begged her with my eyes.…
Gift from a Stranger
Yesterday, I got on the elevator with a small, bespeckled woman carrying two large bouquets of roses. “What floor?” she asked. “Four, please.” “Ah,” she said. “Me, too.” I motioned to her flowers. “Those are gorgeous.” She nodded. “Where are you going?” My cheeks flushed. “Ah…therapy.” I gave her a sheepish grin. As the doors…
Do I Have Anything in My Teeth?
Reason #1,457 I need my husband to come home: he would never let me leave a sandwich shop with basil in my teeth. When Tim first visited me in Seattle, I dragged him around the city because I wanted him to fall in love with it like I had. Pike Place Market was at the top…
Last First Kiss
Eight years ago this week, Tim kissed me for the first time. It was a risk for us both: I asked him to be my date. He drove across two states. It could have been the most awkward weekend of our lives. He didn’t know my friend who was getting married. He didn’t know my parents,…
Self Portrait: Cozy
February 28, 2017 There are goosebumps on my arm, and I am relishing them. The tradewinds are blowing. The hot Hawaiian sun is resting behind the clouds. I’m snuggled up in my favorite pair of sweatpants and sipping hot coffee from a mug the size of my head. This is me, feeling cozy. This is me, feeling…
Yesterday I skipped my weekly therapy session so I could sunbathe, swim, and belly laugh with family. We drank tropical drinks. We buried our toes in the sand. We took silly pictures. We shared smoothies and brownies and inside jokes. We stayed out until the sun went down on Waikiki. My heart and soul craved connection.…
I was walking toward my future self on the sands of Lanikai Beach as the sun rose over the Mokulua islands (a short drive from my house and a favorite spot of mine). She was sitting on a woven blanket, wearing yoga pants and a ponytail, looking healthy and relaxed. I asked her how…